| Company coming? Dear Dr. Debi,
June! We have so much company coming and nothing is finished. What can
we do?
Signed, Hectic Host
Dear Company Central,
We look forward to these moments for years – kids
graduating, marriages, and family reunions. But somehow it still creeps
up on us! Imagine how often you have thought of your graduate on this
day in the past year. Many times with hope, fear, anxiety, and also –
longing.
It is bizarre how something can be on our mind so
much that we really forget to prepare for it. Well, don’t worry; there
are many ways to entertain around the construction mess. First, you need
to decide if the party would be at the house, or perhaps a nearby park.
Parks may have pavilions that can be rented quite
reasonably. How about a nearby campground with a nice recreational
space? And, amusement parks have great group rates, just call and see.
But if you do want to try the house, catch your
breath and take a little tour of your own place. Look for spots big
enough for your guest list, and imagine how you can separate the traffic
from your construction zones. A path may start to emerge in your mind.
Talk about it with your partner to see how they see it.
If you can hoist the power equipment aside, out
of temptation for little guests, and get materials safely stored out of
weather and wear, you may have a winning plan. Well, at least you now
know the house is a possible option. But don’t stop there.
Next step is communicating with your special
party person, the graduate, or the wedding couple. Before you go too
far, it is time to sit and talk with them about what they would like for
their party or bash. Not about the details of punch bowls, but their
party goals.
Likely you will hear that your grad wants to
relax with friends, dance, play music (perhaps loud), and not be
bothered by fussing, frilly, nuisance customs. The wedding couple may
want more formality, but if they asked you to throw this party, knowing
what your house looks like, think again.
Likely the most important part about this party
is the change of life stage for them, and the change in hierarchy they
will enjoy celebrating becoming grown-up in the family. They hope that
things will be different between you; that they will become more equal;
that you will treat them with a new respect. They also will need to
assert their new freedom in a public way, just to be sure to mark that
new ground. So, are you ready?
Well, ready or not, here they come! You can start
this process by talking now about the party, and give the main choices
to them. Asking, rather than telling will start this adventure off on
new footing. You can set up some ground rules: no breaking the law, so
no underage drinking. The construction is off limits, but you can offer
to take them on tour.
Lots of folks love to see a project underway. In
the cities, they have to make peep holes around building work, because
folks just love to stop and look. It is a fun part of any construction
project to be part of the tour – you get great feedback and suggestions,
and plenty of encouragement to fill your tanks for a month.
A couple of points about finalizing your party
plans: make sure you have accounted for safety, especially for children
who may come over. Nail things up; put tools far away. Be sure there are
railings, barricades and safety rails anywhere there are uneven floor
levels. Keep lights off where you don’t want kids to go.
Put floodlights along all the pathways, because
unfinished work does not look familiar in the dark. Get plenty of
lighting for your entertainment area. Christmas lights work fabulous for
this. Conceal all the extension cords, use duct tape and be sure folks
can’t trip along the way.
When it comes to the party day, ask for a
volunteer to oversee safety and parking. If you can rotate the job, that
would be great. Take your turn helping out in a youth-type job (like
parking a teen guest’s car), and you will certainly demonstrate a new
level in ‘equality.’ If you do this in front of your grad’s friends, you
will double it.
It may be stressful (well, of course – it is!) to
change roles, let your kids grow up, share the equality, and ease off
the controls. But they will do all of these things anyway. You can help
it be a peaceful process, or fight it every inch. Now, if you are
uncomfortable, that’s ok. No pain, no gain. I just hope I can help you
to get the most out of what you will go through anyway.
It may not be easy, but they grow up anyway.
Happy Home Team!
Dr. Debi |
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